Sunday, July 4, 2010

Question of the Day...In Good Times and Bad

My hubby Tim and I have been together since 1994, which basically means half my life! We got married in 1997, I was young but knew he was "the one".

Through the years we have been through a lot of ups and downs. As many couples do, we have been through a good deal of stressful situations together. The birth of two children, a stressful move and the diagnosis of a chronic illness in our young daughter.

This has understandably put a lot of stress on our marriage because life happens and priorities shift. As a mom, it can be difficult to go from mom mode to wife mode. As a married couple, when life changes and you grow older you either grow together or you grow apart.

There are some times in our lives when we realize what we have and what we take for granted. My husband and my marriage means everything to me and I'm not the kind of person to give up easily when things get rough. Marriage takes work. A lot of work.

My husband and I try to recognize that our marriage needs to be nurtured along with our children. We try to find time (even if only a few minutes) each day to talk and connect. We try to have regular date nights and get-a-ways as often as we can. But in reality, it's not always easy.

So my question is, with all the stresses of daily life, what do you and your spouse do to maintain marital happiness?? I would love for you to post a comment with your answer to this question!


  1. You're right! Marriage is ALOT of work!!!!

    I would say there are 3 main things that keep us motivated:

    1) Connecting spiritually. This is, by far, THE most important variable for us. Going to church as a family, and making sure it's a top priority EVERY WEEK, regardless of how busy our lives are, has been the glue that has held us together for the past 10 years. Our marriage is strongest when Christ is in the center of it. As soon as we allow that focus to shift, it's pretty obvious around here.

    2) WHOOPIE! (Or, as we call it, PB&J) Yup. I'm tired. He's tired. Life is distracting. Kids are in the way. Diabetes is unpredictable. Even still, we make sure not to neglect this important part of married life. And, besides, it's kinda fun :)

    3) Sharing household/family responsibilities. We fold laundry together while watching our favorite shows, he cooks on the weekends, I cook during the week, we both deal with diabetes, he'll get the girls bathed and ready for church (even does their hair!)...basically, neither of us have defined jobs around here. We're both willing to do whatever needs to be done.

    Jay and I haven't had too many dates since the big dx....and we've never been away overnight :( I wish we could go out more or stay away for a few nights alone, but we just don't have anyone to take Addy right now. We think that will be changing soon, though, and look forward to lots of happy times ahead!!!!

  2. Thanks Wendy. I'm ALWAYS willing to take Addy (or any of them) for you. It's a little easier for us to get away overnight but it seems all I do is worry about Janelle. Especially when what I worry most about actually happens! :).

  3. My husband go out at least a couple times a month, and once or twice a year we get away for the weekend. But I think the thing that helps us the most is laughing together. We also just started texting eachother love notes. Love it!

  4. My husband and I try to find a little quiet time without the kids. Some night we will go out to a late dinner or other times we will just take a late night car ride or just do grocery shopping together. Anytime that you can take for ourselves, relax and have fun together is important to us!!

  5. You have good answers there. I like them all. You might also consider flirting shamelessly with your spouse. :) :) :)